Um, hi, blog. Long time no see. Oh, no, no, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve been a slacker. But with NaNoWriMo time upon us, I’m thinking about you again. I’m not doing NaNo this year (I think I’m kind of past that kind of insanity now), but something about this time of year sends my thoughts drifting to being writerly again.
One of the things that’s been keeping me away from the keyboard lately is a complete lack of inspiration. When I was young and foolish, dreaming of a day when I would be a writer, stories seemed plentiful “What if” was always at the tip of my tongue. Once I decided to get serious, though, that fount of creativity has dried up.
I have a few projects in the back of my mind. But I’m not making progress on any of them. Two of them are intentionally derivative, and one is in a well known and highly trademarked universe. Working on those is interesting, but ultimately non-productive. Two other projects are hovering in the back of my mind, one high fantasy, the other space opera, yet when I sit down to outline either of them (a process I find vital to my own writing practice), I get bogged down in plot problems that seem insoluble.
There are always writing exercises I could do, and that would get me writing, but those likewise feel unproductive. They’re just random prompts that might inspire a few hundred to a couple thousand words, but it’s just practice, nothing that’s going to lead to being published.
I suspect that what has happened is that my inner editor is subconsciously editing out the formerly freely flowing fount of ideas based on whether it thinks I could make a real, publishable story out of them. He’s an evil bastard, my inner editor. You’d think with all of the NaNoWriMo wins under my belt, I would be a master of sending him packing, but I don’t think I am.
I will one day find a way to be a fount of ideas again. Probably about the time I finally give up the dream of ever becoming a published writer…